Gospel Re-Formed

Six months ago, I closed an important chapter in my life. As I wrote the final words to say goodbye to my Katherine, I turned the page and wondered, what is next? My previous posts talk about how this new chapter would not be a new story, but a continuation of what God has already done. I wanted the previous chapter of my life to become the first words on a new journey where God is revealing beauty from the ashes, where each day will bring new meaning and purpose. As this process continues in me, I sometimes can get stuck in own little world, not looking up to the present. I must break free from introspection from time to time and write words that others can see. I have been seeing the beauty of God in my life. How can I not tell others about it? I think the word most people use is a milestone, a mark along the road that tells you how far you have come. I planted another marker in the ground and looked back at the story so far. As I glance at that broken road, I see that God showed Him...

As we celebrated Easter, I pondered what it meant to be with Jesus on the day He died. Jesus and His disciples gathered together that night in order to take the Passover meal, in accordance with scripture. This was a time set aside to remember the day God passed over Israel. God, desiring to rescue His people, was bringing judgement to Egypt through the death of all firstborn. Death was literally coming, but the blood of the sacrificial lamb above their door was the sign that His people believed that God would save them. Those with this mark would be passed over from death. The next morning His people were alive, but the first born of the people of Egypt were not. God redeemed His people. Each part of the seder meal was meant to reflect this time. As Jesus passed the wine to His disciples, they would have remembered that they are sacred to God. When they washed their hands they proclaimed that they were clean. As they tasted the bitterness of the vegetables in salt, they are reminded o...

"How are you doing?" The question everyone asks, but one that is hardest for me to answer because it can mean so many things. You could be asking how am I doing physically, such as are you getting enough sleep? Are you taking care of yourself? Do you get out? What about emotionally? Are you depressed? Do you have someone to talk to? Do you need to vent? It could be asking about where I am in my journey of mourning. How are you healing? Do you still miss her? Or it even could just be a generic platitude, just say fine and move on. If you are in a coffee shop in New York and the guy's name is Joey? It could mean an entirely different thing all together. But I guess that is the nature of the question, it can mean any, all, or even none of these things. That is probably why I ask the same question to people and also why I usually give a vague answer, such as "Doing OK". Don't get me started on how to interpret this response! Over the last few months I have been ...

The night my beloved wife passed was difficult, but also beautiful. Over the previous week I could see her slowly slipping away, like a deep fog was covering the world and her face was slowly disappearing into the cloud. No matter how much I reached for her, she would continue to fade out of view. As the week went by, she was sleeping more and more, unable to even sit up with help. By Thursday night, she had not fully waken the entire day and her eyes could no longer open completely. I would sit by her side and look at her feeling helpless. It has already been a few days since I talked to her. Did the final moment to say goodbye already pass? When it was time to sleep I noticed her breathing was short. I went to grab some linen from upstairs so I can sleep by her side on the couch in our sunroom. By the time I came back downstairs, she was gone. In that moment, it felt like a dream. Was she really gone? I sat by her side waiting for her to start breathing again, checking her pulse over...

Back in Tennessee, just after I became a Christian, I attended a funeral that seemed off to me. I don't remember who the person was or why I was there, which is weird, but I do remember that this person did claim to be a Christian. As the service started and people began to speak about him, I noticed that most of the people around him were not. When his friends came to to speak they would say things like "I guess he had some kind of belief in God, which we disagreed on, but he was a good guy." The leader of the church would give the generic verses in most TV and movie funerals, then that was it. I left feeling empty. A little more recently, yet so far away, I went to a funeral of an older man from our local church. They were singing for joy and talking about how he was with Jesus now and his suffering was all over. It was a celebration! We sang and worshiped just like it was a church service. I enjoyed that funeral more, but still left a little empty. I mean, there was ve...

There was a trail that I frequented as a kid that was in a forest near our house. I loved riding my bike through the tree-soaked paths without a care in the world, building forts and climbing trees. It was like I was away from all of mankind, in my hiding place, my sanctuary. Maybe there is something inherited about a love of the woods. I imagine Adam experienced the same things as he looked at the beauty of God’s creation. Did he look up through the trees at night under the moonlight and watch the bats fly around catching bugs like I did? Did he look at the twisted branches and ponder the paths of life?  He was like a newborn, was he not? In a lot of ways, trees remind me of how life should be lived. We are like branches, reaching to the heavens trying to grasp the substance of the sun, fully dependant on outside forces for our sustenance. Just as the branches move with the wind, our lives flow in the sway of life through the Spirit, which is where the make comes from. Season afte...

That very day two of them were going to a village named Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem, and they were talking with each other about all these things that had happened. While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus himself drew near and went with them. But their eyes were kept from recognizing him. And he said to them, “What is this conversation that you are holding with each other as you walk?” And they stood still, looking sad. Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” And he said to them, “What things?” And they said to him, “Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, a man who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, and how our chief priests and rulers delivered him up to be condemned to death, and crucified him. But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things ...

Both we and our fathers have sinned;  we have committed iniquity; we have done wickedness. Our fathers, when they were in Egypt, did not consider your wondrous works; they did not remember the abundance of your steadfast love, but rebelled by the sea, at the Red Sea. Yet he saved them for his name's sake, that he might make known his mighty power. (Psalm 106:6-8) Glory has been a word that has been put in my heart over the last few months. It all started after I finished being humbled by a friend in another attempt to stick myself in the middle of something that I should have let go. As I went for a walk, defending myself of course, I heard God clearly speak to me in the middle of my complaining. He said to me “Stop stealing my glory.” After snapping out of myself he repeated the phrase and opened my heart to what I was doing. I so much wanted to be the hero, a person who brings people together so that we can see God's work because of my works and determination. In the middle...

And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed. And out of the ground the Lord God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Genesis 2:8,9 (ESV) When I first think of a garden, I think of my grandmother's house. Rows of different vegetables neatly lined up, properly spaced, watered, fed, and weeded. A variety of edibles intentionally planted to serve her needs. Gardens are not always like that. We have a garden bed in front of our house where we planted a variety of shrubs and flowers to magnify the beauty of our home. There are some gardens that artfully display shapes and colors, used in the public to represent both nature and community. There are even gardens in Japan that were created to give us a sense of peace and tranquility. I presume the garden that was planted in Eden was an example of all...

They brought the donkey and the colt and put on them their cloaks, and he sat on them. Most of the crowd spread their cloaks on the road, and others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. And the crowds that went before him and that followed him were shouting, “Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!” And when he entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred up, saying, “Who is this?” And the crowds said, “This is the prophet Jesus, from Nazareth of Galilee.” - Matthew 21:7-11 ESV (Mark 11, Luke 19, John 12) They call this the "Triumphal Entry" of Jesus. Jesus entered Jerusalem, the holiest city, during the time of Passover, when Israel looked back to the time when God delivered His people from Egypt. This was more than a celebration for God's people as they were redeemed from slavery, but also a reflection of our need for redemption and restoration every day through a yearly meal, sacrifices,...

How great are his signs,    how mighty his wonders! His kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,    and his dominion endures from generation to generation. - Daniel 4:3 ESV I am reading through Jeremiah right now. It is about a prophet who is called by God to proclaim repentance to His people that have turned from the ways of God yet again. His people refuse the plead of Jeremiah over and over again, eventually imprisoning him (Jer 37:11) and forcing him into exile to prevent him from proclaiming God's words (Jer 38). His people would not listen. So God brings them to their knees through suffering in exile themselves, just like in the desert on the way into the promised land. God allows Babylon to forcefully take over His people and rule over them (Jer 39). Yet he will still shows mercy on them: “For thus says the Lord: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. For I know the plans...