There was a trail that I frequented as a kid that was in a forest near our house. I loved riding my bike through the tree-soaked paths without a care in the world, building forts and climbing trees. It was like I was away from all of mankind, in my hiding place, my sanctuary. Maybe there is something inherited about a love of the woods. I imagine Adam experienced the same things as he looked at the beauty of God’s creation. Did he look up through the trees at night under the moonlight and watch the bats fly around catching bugs like I did? Did he look at the twisted branches and ponder the paths of life? He was like a newborn, was he not?
In a lot of ways, trees remind me of how life should be lived. We are like branches, reaching to the heavens trying to grasp the substance of the sun, fully dependant on outside forces for our sustenance. Just as the branches move with the wind, our lives flow in the sway of life through the Spirit, which is where the make comes from. Season after season, the tree grows larger for all to see, branches and all. As I looked at those branches through the moonlight, I find it a beautiful reminder of God's love and care for this world, and us.
For us here on the ground, the twisting and turning seem almost chaotic. I can’t imagine that a tree "knows" where all its branches will end up, they just grow. The path is formed through the weather and storms. When I look back at my life, I often question how I came to be in this exact moment. I look back at the times that the road seemed almost fragile, like a branch breaking under the weight of the winter storm or the drought that dried up the life giving water that was brought from the roots.
Then again, I can also look back at where I came from with hope. As the branch mended, the strength increased. As the water returned into the soil, I came to see how important the rain was to my soul. Sometimes it is through death that life comes. When my branch died to the first source of life, I never imagined that I would be grafted into a tree that was fed by the King Himself with eternal living water. It was through these paths that strength is built. Those twists and turns were not chaotic after all. They made me who I am today. I see God’s grace in my growth, and even in the pruning.
But sometimes I forget the past and wonder where the branches will go, where life will lead me in the tomorrow. I need to remember that, now more than ever. As many of you know, there will be a change in life coming soon, an event that will change my path once again. I see it approaching and God is preparing me for it. Change is never easy, and I have never been good at dealing with it because with change comes uncertainty. Questions with no answers. A plan without a diagram.
I like a good plan. If you know something is going to happen, why would you not prepare? I was an Eagle Scout, that is what we do! Preparing means knowing all the angles. You study the problem, the sub-problems, the different strategies that you will use to solve them. No surprises. But I guess that is what it means to live in an upside-down kingdom. Following a plan in God’s kingdom mean fully trusting in Him because, in the end, He will get the glory. I certainly did not have a part in it, nor could I try to take any credit.
But even in the mysteries, God can still reveal a part of His plan if He wishes to do so. He did this for me a few years ago in a way that I have never experienced, by the Spirit speaking directly to me. I have seen doors open before, or even had the pieces come together in the journey, but never directly. Like a ton of bricks hitting me all at once. At first, I wanted to tell someone so when it comes true I can point to Him. After lots of prayer, I realize that He is trying to increase my faith personally. So, I stayed silent and started getting excited about what was going to happen. I knew that if His plan comes together I would have no choice but to give Him glory.
The first thing that came to mind? I can start to plan! My thoughts: How will it happen? When will it happen? What do I need to do? Is it really going to happen? Wait, it is! Oh, maybe? Should I be doing something? Whoops, I guess not. Now? How long is this going to take? How can I push this forward? Why am I so impatient!?!?
Now I know why God usually does not reveal His plan...
I feel like the father who is asking for the demon to be taken from his son in Mark 9:14-29. Even the disciples could not heal the boy, yet when the father came to Jesus, he believed that his son would be healed. Even the father said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (14:24) But even in that moment God gets glory and we get a lesson that brings us closer to Him. What more can you ask for?
There are so many lessons that I still need to learn in this life. Even when God show’s Himself, there is still a lesson to learn. Following Jesus is easy, yet hard. Easy because we now have access to the Father, the King, who makes His servants part of the family with everything in-between. It is hard because we are still children in a foreign land. It is a journey that brings us closer to Him. The more we follow, the more we trust. Like the branch, we can do nothing but keep to the vine.
So, has it happen yet? No, but I see the working. But through this experience God has been working on me. When the time comes when God's plan comes together, that will make God ever so sweeter. And if it doesn't happen, God is still faithful. The journey is just as impactful as the gift itself sometimes. But even in the silence I pray expectantly waiting in hope. Hope for God to show himself in great ways through the journey. For my life to be a true testimony. Hope and faith together.
God be the glory.
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