I think the word most people use is a milestone, a mark along the road that tells you how far you have come. I planted another marker in the ground and looked back at the story so far. As I glance at that broken road, I see that God showed Himself in the darkness. When I needed Him most. He revealed that He was present in the life that we lived together and that our story was revealing Christ to the world, even when we did not see it. God brings purpose not only in life, but in death. These are overarching themes of His grace but, to be honest, they are not the graces that helped me write my new story. Those come when I see the little glimmers of His redemption.
He gave me grace the morning I came down for coffee in the morning without her with a tear in my eye. Grace in the times I mourned and celebrated her life as I sat on the couch and looked at our memories. He gave me grace when I think about my mission, to serve her, and I hear God whisper in my ear “You did well, my son”. He is also there in the times when I wish I had done something different. He gave me grace when I took off my ring and placed it next to her. He gave me grace when I did not know what life would look like, asking Him “what now?” He now gives me grace as he begins to reveal that he does have something special in store for me, that I can trust Him for my future as He did in my past.
Grace comes new every morning.
Over the last few months, God has grown my faith little by little, day by day. He does this all the time as he redeems the broken parts of my life. These are the real moments of grace, those places where He shows up and changed me bit by bit. It is through those graces that God reminds me that He is the author of my faith and my life, past and future. I should trust Him, even in the little things. He needs to do this over, and over again. This reminds me of Jeremiah 29:11-13:
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all of your heart.
These words were written just before a 70-year exile in Babylon, a time when they felt that are no longer under the protection of God, walking into a foreign land. He reminds them that even in exile, they have never been out of His care. I feel like I am like Israel, having to remember once again. But when dawn rises on a new day, I see His face shining over me. He is the one who I can trust. If I follow Him, he will take care of the rest (Matt 6:33). I don’t need to make sure that I am perfect, or that I need a 10-year plan. I just need to follow Him. Maybe I should ask different questions when my future is not clear?
What if His plan for me is beyond what I can imagine? What if, in the following, he opens doors to things that I could never have planned or even written? I am a creative person, but I know that God can still blow my mind. He created it! He has been doing this at each of the moments of my life all along, in each moment of grace, in each embrace through the trials, in each victory that points to Him. When I step out in faith and follow Him it is as if I am reaching out in faith into the waters, like Peter did when he stepped out on the sea. Is it safe? Will I stay unafraid?
But as I begin to walk on the water in faith, God starts to lead. I can hear Jesus’ whisper, “Just follow me, don’t be afraid”. Each step reveals a little more of his plan. I try not to look down into the dark and stormy waters that splash against my legs. Follow Jesus, I remind myself, and He will lead me to still waters. He is the living water, even in the storms. Trust Him. In the revealing of His plan, he always keeps a little hidden for the next step. I know that in the things you cannot see, God can reveal greater things. So, when I reach my foot out, the waters will part and reveal another piece of the journey.
I feel that he is doing that now, writing a story that I am slowly reading. Showing me His plan a little each day. Maybe that is the lesson, that when you write your story you should put down the pen and just watch God write it from time to time. He is the Author of our stories. That does not mean we should do nothing, but we should watch for His hand working and join in as we abandon all and follow Him. Lay down your weapons, your money, your idols, and yourself. Anything that you are following except for Jesus!
Maybe it will end in loosing something important. That's ok. We learn from that also and God will show His power, and grace, through it. But what if your story is outlasting time itself? What if it is revealing Christ to the world through our lives? Deaths? Whether we see it or not, it can reveal hope for the broken that can lead them to the living water where Jesus is waiting. Then they can also experience the graces that come from following Jesus and continue your story in the chapters that they write for the Kingdom. His story.
We are a living testimony, let Him speak!
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