Gospel Re-Formed

"How are you doing?" The question everyone asks, but one that is hardest for me to answer because it can mean so many things. You could be asking how am I doing physically, such as are you getting enough sleep? Are you taking care of yourself? Do you get out? What about emotionally? Are you depressed? Do you have someone to talk to? Do you need to vent? It could be asking about where I am in my journey of mourning. How are you healing? Do you still miss her? Or it even could just be a generic platitude, just say fine and move on. If you are in a coffee shop in New York and the guy's name is Joey? It could mean an entirely different thing all together. But I guess that is the nature of the question, it can mean any, all, or even none of these things. That is probably why I ask the same question to people and also why I usually give a vague answer, such as "Doing OK". Don't get me started on how to interpret this response! Over the last few months I have been ...

The night my beloved wife passed was difficult, but also beautiful. Over the previous week I could see her slowly slipping away, like a deep fog was covering the world and her face was slowly disappearing into the cloud. No matter how much I reached for her, she would continue to fade out of view. As the week went by, she was sleeping more and more, unable to even sit up with help. By Thursday night, she had not fully waken the entire day and her eyes could no longer open completely. I would sit by her side and look at her feeling helpless. It has already been a few days since I talked to her. Did the final moment to say goodbye already pass? When it was time to sleep I noticed her breathing was short. I went to grab some linen from upstairs so I can sleep by her side on the couch in our sunroom. By the time I came back downstairs, she was gone. In that moment, it felt like a dream. Was she really gone? I sat by her side waiting for her to start breathing again, checking her pulse over...